Quick Post

My time here in the east coast has been a huge blessing, but also a challenging experience. So far, God has introduced to me to a loving married couple, unique group of interns, a passionate organization with a diverse group of Christians. Jesus, showing mercy in small but immense ways, has always been faithful, even when I lose sight of his goodness. Constantly do I find myself struggling with the changes in my life because I uprooted myself from the community back home and planted myself in a foreign area. Finding a similar community back home will not possible because my family back home is unique in its own way. But, God is still faithful to bless me a solid community even though I am a foreigner to them. God, being that loving Father that is described in Luke 15, shows unconditional love by placing such great people in my life. All that I hope for is to be an obedient son to him by loving the people around me and being a good steward to the talents he has given me. I pray that fear does not entice me from taking steps of faith forward. I hope to write more, but time is running short. Till next time.

Restlessness

I find myself waking up around 3 or 4 in the morning, making it difficult to fall back sleep. Nothing in particular is keeping me awake. It might be a sudden change in pace in my life. Just a couple of days ago I moved to the east coast for an internship with a nonprofit. I never realized how difficult it is to situate yourself in a new environment. I'm currently staying with a young married couple who are amazing people. God has provided so much for me, everything that I ever need for that matter of fact, yet I am still anxious about something. I don't want to put the blame on the sudden change in environment because that seems too simple. There might be something deep within my subconscious that's bothering me...

I do have one comment about this: I know for a fact that ever since I got on my flight to DC, my life will never be the same. I am growing up to be a working class individual in this society. That thought might be the reason for my restless nights...

Leah's Delma

This post is referring Genesis 29

Leah, the eldest daughter of Laban, was in a difficult situation. Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah during the time of Genesis 29, upsetting Leah quite so. God allowed Leah to bear multiple of sons while closing the womb of Rachel. Now this is an important piece to look at because women, at the time, were valued by bearing a son or sons (I'm no biblical scholar but I think this is somewhat accurate). She bore Reuben, Simeon, and Levi, but Jacob continued to love Rachel more than Leah. It is fascinating to see Leah attempting to gain Jacob's love by bearing more sons than her younger sister. But why would God allow this to happen and have her not receive love from Jacob.

God was teaching Leah an important lesson, and we see this when she bears her fourth and final child, Judah. Now the meaning behind the name Judah is "praise the Lord". I want to say that at this point in time, Leah understands that her joy - or in this case her desire to be loved by her husband- will not be satisfied by her bearing sons, but by God Himself. She finally submits to God and worships Him.  Only God will bring the love that she always wanted from the beginning.

I cannot help but to relate with Leah. I'm not trying to birth a bunch of babies in order to gain someone's love; that is ridiculous. Instead, my mind thinks that if I have a girlfriend, then that will bring ultimate satisfaction in my heart. The fact that I will might have a spouse in the future will help me to grow as a Christian. This is ludicrous. Typing this out embarrasses me a bit. God is clarifying that only he can complete what is truly missing in my heart. Jesus is the only one who can accomplish these things. Why do I seek out unfulfilling tasks instead of worshiping God. Leah discovered the missing love that she deeply desired from God! I pray to find that same result. Always remember that is is Jesus who completes us and not by our actions, the world's offerings, or anything else. Only God will bring this complete joy to us.


Seek him first above all else....

Matthew 6:33

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."


What a struggle this has been... Numerous of distractions are circling me, keeping my eyes off of Jesus. I always find myself falling back onto this verse, yet it's not sinking in. Why is it so difficult to trust His word? As I mentioned in my previous post, I will be moving inevitably causing me to be anxious about what will happen in the future. The context of verse above focuses on not worrying. Most Christians are familiar with this verse, but why is it difficult to apply! I witness many of us worrying about the silliest things. SIGHHHH I don't know..... I'm just frustrated with myself that is all. I hope that I can continually seek first his kingdom and righteousness. I don't want to be consumed by my worries and nonsense; ain't nobody got time for that!

Osashiburi (long time no see)

It has been quite some time since my last post. I can easily get side tracked with silly things that happen in my life. I'm hoping to post more on this blogger to help flush out thoughts in my head. Don't be alarmed if what you're reading is mush and incoherent, just a forewarning.

Where should I begin.... I will be moving to Arlington soon for an internship with International Justice Missions (IJM). I'm looking forward to this internship simply because of change in everything. I'll be staying with a married couple, working in a very professional environment, and committing to a new church! And, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Even though I am a sad about leaving the Bay Area where all my close family and friends are, I need a new change in scenery. It'll help me to grow more as an individual and mature as time progresses. God has been leading me toward a direction that has been making more sense as more doors open in my life. Allow me to elaborate this more.

God chiseled a spot for human trafficking in my heart that I couldn't ignore since sophomore year of college. Ever since then, I questioned God why about this. Another question I had for Him was "Why I declared Management Information Systems as my major?" Funny thing is, interning at IJM answers both of these questions. IJM fights against human trafficking all around the globe and they have a high demand for people within my field of study. So, in the end, it all works out! I thought this was a neat. I'm hoping that I can start my career with IJM after the internship, but I have no control over that. I pray that it'll be something I truly enjoy and value. I'll update you about it once the ball starts rolling.

Thanks for tolerating my random thoughts! I'll start posting consistently on this account.

Go to Jesus (no matter what the situation is)

Who is the first person we run to when situations head south? Who do we seek for counsel, guidance, or help when life sucks? Naturally, we first run to people who are closest to us; family or friends that understands us. Or one possible option is rely on ourselves and deal with these problems alone. I always wonder why we, including myself, tend to behave this way. It's a puzzling habit because knowing that Jesus, the Son of God, our refuge, should be the first person to go to... Is there something about God that we do not see clearly?  

David, who has the title "Man after God's Own Heart", understood something about Him that made David confess these words in Psalms: "O my Strength", "Behold, God is my helper", "God is our refuge", "He only is my rock...my fortress". He had a clear sense of who God is. In my opinion, that is why David was able to approach God in difficult situations.

What is it that we do not see...? I desire for all Christians to have genuine prayers that displays God's character. Let us continue to press into His word and ask The Spirit for guidance so that we may understand what it means to love God with all of our heart, with all of our soul, with all of our might. Maybe knowing this, we can first go to Jesus for help when times are difficult.


God Bless~

Certainly this is a peculiar situation.

How odd is it when two people understand their emotions about each other, and wish to purse a relationship, but cannot because God asked them to be patient. Both parties are left knowing these feelings, and have two options: 1. Love God by obeying his command, or 2. Simply ignore what God asked them and adhere to their own desires. Truly this is a test of patience and self-control, two of the nine fruits of the Spirit. All hope is not lost fortunately. The Holy Spirit is with them, reminding them of scripture: "For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace" (Romans 8:6).

This situation is quite frequent for Christians. Not the fact that they want to pursue a relationship, instead it is the constant struggle between flesh and Spirit. From Galatians 5, we understand that the desires of the flesh and Spirit are opposing forces, something similar to an antagonist verses a protagonist in an adventure story. And God gives us the choice to either choose our own desires or to choose Him, to root for the villain or to cheer for the hero. This is a daily struggle for all Christians, and it can get tiresome. But know this, even though at times we may fail and submit to our own fleshly desires, God's grace is still there. The richness of His grace and mercy is there for us. He is always patient with us, waiting for us to repent and turn to Him. Thus, do not wait, but repent immediately! Experience God's great love; His unconditional love is there for you always!